Remember
by TheyKilledKenny
Summary: The trouble with Cartman is that he never remembers....set at the end of Imaginationland Episode II


-11Description: The trouble with Cartman is that he never remembers...set at the end of Imaginationland Episode II, very short

Disclaimer: Don't own, never have, never will.

A/N: Something slightly based on a dream I had after this episode...so it's really weird and confusing. But please review anyway!

EDIT: The above note doesn't mean I dreamt this, I just had a bad dream, and the combination of it and this episode created this. I was also just wondering about how Cartman just dropped out of sight in the Manbearpig scene, what would he have been feeling?

* * *

He couldn't shake it.

Manbearpig reared above them, roaring and squealing. Panic reigned. Cartman blinked as people dashed wildly around him, yelling orders and inane diagnosis's.

_Kyle_.

Where did Kyle go? He was supposed to suck his balls...

Something about the very thought seemed out of place. Wasn't he about to be killed? Shouldn't he be running? Blood spattered the floor as the imaginary monster ripped technicians apart, the floor shaking under his footfalls. Cartman shook his head, trying to clear Kyle and the conjured images of him sucking his balls from his mind...

"No wait! Its like a half-bear, half man-pig!"

"No, it's a half man, half pig-bear!"

A console next to Cartman, smashed, spitting sparks, and he raised his hands in a feeble attempt to shield himself. His reactions were slowed with shock.

"Reverse the doorway! Send it back through!"

Cartman ducked a frantic programmer as Manbearpig thudded across the floor, stooped, and scooped Kyle up.

Cartman froze.

_Suck my balls...  
_  
Kyle! He's going to die...

And then suddenly, without warning, Cartman felt a horrible, gut-wrenching electric jolt in his stomach. He was paralyzed where he stood. All he could do was stare at the horrific spectacle above him. Kyle shrieked in fright.

"_KYLE!" _

Stan's voice held a jarring note of something that Cartman had never, ever understood or felt. He turned and gasped as Stan skidded straight into the path of danger, face transported in terror, hands at his mouth, wide eyes frozen, disregarding everything but his best friend.

_Friend. His best friend...what the hell does that have to do with...? _

A blaze of displaced, white-hot fury, lost somewhere in waves of shock, erupted in Cartman chest, so unexpected and bizarre it made him stagger. Why couldn't _he _feel like that? Deja-vu hit him hard. Had he felt it before, or was he just remembering Stan on another occasion...?

_Why? _

Not now! What about the gates...Kyle...

Things he didn't understand, especially when he had no time to think about it, terrified him more than anything else.

He remembered it from somewhere...

_Remember...  
_  
There was a faint beeping, light poured back out of the gate. Stan cried out in desperation as he was dragged off the ground, reaching out despairingly for Kyle. Cartman looked up dazedly, watching as Stan's silhouette tumbled head over heels into the burning white abyss.

Sparks of current enveloped Manbearpig, It gave an ear-splitting roar and followed Stan. Kyle fell limply onto the floor and lay still.

An unfamiliar, icy dread swept over Cartman. He stumbled forward, towards Kyle, tripping on the hem of his robe.

Was he _afraid? _A thrill of numbing cold ran through him, making his teeth chatter. Dazedly, he managed to totter across the room to Kyle.

He _was _afraid. He was terrified, terrified that Kyle would die. Kyle his friend, one of the people he spent half his life with. Panic rose up, suffocating him. His knees buckled, and he crawled to Kyle's side. Kyle couldn't die...

"I'm sorry, young man." The technician's voice seemed very far away.

Kyle's ashen face tore at him painfully.

"Kyle...?"

Was this what he had heard in Stan's voice? He had felt this before, he had felt it many, many times before. It was emapthy, goodwill, genuine and pure. How could he have forgotten this feeling? Why didn't he remember before?

"Well, at least now...he doesn't have to suck anyone's balls."

_Suck my balls... _

Hatred leapt up in him. Poisonous, unbalanced hatred, obliterating the thoughts of his Kyle, his friend. Of Stan and the fear he had felt a second ago. The memories were destroyed, dissolving like snow in flames. Anger blazed inside him, he _hated _Kyle, he hated him more than anything else in the world. His thoughts were swallowed up by a searing flood of Kyle, the Jew. Kyle, the filth who had consumed his mind for years, who he was going to finally triumph over, finally own the soul of...he _hated _Kyle so much...

"_NO!" _

The memories of the dread, the rush of unselfish caring, that had gripped him seemed to scream in protest as the corrosive hatred bit into him, but he couldn't feel it. The two thoughts didn't meet, operating on different levels of Cartman's broken mind...

Stan's horror-stricken voice reverberated incessantly in his ears, floating in the center of his mind as though suspended between the yawning cracks that shouldn't have been there, pounding on his temples, escalating his irritation to madness...he screwed up his eyes, trying to crush the echoing remembrance with the strength of his hate.

Blackness bloomed in his heart, twisted lust for Kyle, for the ultimate and absolute breaking of his spirit, for Kyle's _pain_, enveloped his mind. He remembered this too, remembered the deletion of memory...he could never remember...

The memories of his momentary fear for Kyle, and only for Kyle; not for his humiliation, not for his dependable presence in order to take on the evils of Cartman's mind were viciously rubbed away, being replaced by the fear of not having his triumph, not having the object of his sadistic addiction. His brain seemed to scream in agony even as it churned up sick imagery and desire. He had to remember that beautful feeling he had felt before this...

Ohmigod please, please make it stop! ...can't remember...I can't remember it...

_Kahl...Suck My Balls._

No! Oh god please, Kyle...It hurts so much...!

Cartman can't remember any more.


End file.
